Place your Superbowl bets

Only two more days until the Superbowl. Though not everyone will be interested in the game itself, everyone will undoubtedly be curious about the commercials and the halftime show. We can only hope this year’s halftime show is better than these past debacles:









So, in the spirit of one of the biggest gambling weekends of the year, I thought I’d put up some lines on the Superbowl in relation to some of GURU’s staff. For example, if you had to take the over/under on how many slots Jeremy Shockey moves up on my mancrush list when I see him on the sidelines in his street clothes, would you say more or less than six slots. He’s currently #12.


One of the saddest moments of my life.

On to the lines. Bets are now being accepted for the following over/under scenarios:

Number of players on the current Patriots roster that Nick Zarzycki drafts for his fantasy football team next year: +/- 4.

Number of Clay Aiken songs Jenn Adams downloads from iTunes during the game: +/- 2.


Jenn wishes she was Rueben right now.

Number of times Ethan Smith cleans his rims during the halftime show: +/- 1.

Number of times a Macbook Air commercial runs before Sasha Strickland goes online and orders one: +/- 2.


That's not an apple logo, it's Sasha's drool.

Number of quarters Jeremy Tucker watches before he gets bored and starts playing online poker: +/- 2.

Number of times Jorge Diaz gets up to change Micah’s diaper during the game: +/- ½.


When Micah understands this, Jorge will be one happy father.

Number of players Sakita Withers knows on either team, despite winning the GURU Fantasy Football League last year: +/-2.

Number of times Ahmad Mando will claim that the Eagles are better than the Giants: +/- 8.


I guess the McNabbs travel in covered wagons. Mrs. McNabb will die of dysentery.

Number of times a hobo breaks into Scott Burlington’s house during the Superbowl: +/- ½.

Number of times Viral Mehta changes the channel to One Tree Hill: +/- 3.


I really wish I had a picture of Viral that I could photoshop into there.

Total number of yards Paul Locander would get if he was selected to do the Punt/Pass/Kick Challenge: +/- 26.

Number of those yards acquired through the Pass portion: +/- 12.