Shaq-Fu: Enforcer of Justice

I recently found out that, after twelve years, they’re making a sequel to Duke Nukem 3D, cleverly titled Duke Nukem Forever, for Xbox and PlayStation 3. I remember playing the original when I was much younger and spending countless hours in front of my computer playing with my friend through a dial-up connection. Obviously I was pretty cool back in the day, almost as cool as this woman.



Fortunately for me, I’ve outgrown that phase and have my sights set on bigger and better things. I'm talking about Mario Kart for Nintendo Wii, expected to be released in six months.

Why my sudden interest in video games? My brother bought my dad a Wii about a year ago so that he could play Tiger Woods Golf on it, but he never did. So, I decided to steal it and I’ve since been on an all-out hunt for games. Spending almost an hour in Best Buy, I settled on these three gems.



Just kidding. As terrible as those games look, I don’t think it gets any worse than this.



Speaking of Shaquille O’Neal, I couldn’t be happier about the trade that just sent him to the Suns, possibly setting up another Lakers-Suns playoff matchup. Why? Because Kobe Bryant is #21 on the mancrush list. The only reason he is so low is because of the whole rape scandal. And speaking of rapists, has anyone seen anyone that resembles this sketch? Wait a second….



A news reporter reporting on himself is almost as weird as a sign warning you about itself: